A Flash of Red
by Allana690
Summary: One frustrated and wanting a challenge. One determinded to focus on his studies. Set before the OVA. Rating for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1 Dignity

A swift blow to the head, it was the easiest way to take someone out. It was also forbidden to do during practice. Not that he cared. Another to the stomach followed in rapid order. Both of them were blocked. How annoying, then again he wasn't really trying….yet. Come to think of it, this was almost like a dance, a dance of death. He couldn't keep himself from smiling and giggling a bit. His opponent cast him a worried look and backed away a few steps. Fear.

He let his tongue press against the back of his teeth and let out a sound that was similar to a hiss. How disappointing, yet another one that could not match him. O he knew he was the best, there was no question about it, he could even take out the instructor if he wanted, yet…

A glare at the young boy before him, if he would ever find himself with that scared expression on his own face he would kill himself out shame. No dignity, no power came with something as fear. The smile grew wider as he approached the other, o how wonderful this was, yes fear me you silly boy, you silly _thing_. I can kill you, I will kill you. Fear.

The practice scythe was raised and swung with precision to hit just above the temple. It would make the thing unconscious yet not hurt it…too much. The young boy's body grew limp and fell to the ground; the scythe was dropped as it did so.

Still giggling slightly he took it up and turned around to his instructor, grin still in place. The old man just looked at him, indicated for him to hand over the scythes.

"Sutcliff, I have asked you not to break the rules for the practical conduct during these lessons." The boring, gray-haired man hurriedly took the scythes from him and put them back in their stands. "Disregarding that however you did very well today", with that he was dismissed. He simulated a small look of gratitude for the words and went back to lean against the wall as he watched the other students have their turn.

Arms crossed over his chest and the face turned into an expression of utter boredom. None of these _boys _were worthy of his attention. All he wanted was simply a challenge, someone to challenge him, but no one had, no one could. It was very frustrating. And all of them were so boring. No excitement, no one to match him in any way.

Red hair was brushed out of his eyes and he looked away from the others as he continued to daydream about something better, someone better. He so loved the color red, but no one else had that hair color, a shame. Very well, there were a few very handsome men around here but it was not enough. Deep down he knew he wanted something else, not just a challenge but someone that could...

The thought was broken as another boy happened to brush his arm against his. The look in the other's eyes almost screamed it had been a mistake. Not that he cared. Eyes filled with fury, hand lifted to grip the offender's throat.

"How dare you touch me, you worthless, useless silly boy" snarled out between his teeth. His very sharp teeth, he grinned a cold smile. The boy stuttered out a small apology as those around them backed away slightly. Green eyes under red bangs glanced over at the instructor. Busy as usual. Good. He tighten his hold and threw the boy against the wall, not gently at all. "Don't touch me ever again, understand? I'll be so very….upset if you do" said with a fake smile and eyes gleaming with anger. A nod greeted him, a very frantic nod. Fear.

Hands were wiped off on a small tissue taken from one pocket of his suit jacket before he turned around to walk out of the classroom. Everyone went out of his way, no one looked at him. No one. Not directly, but he could feel their eyes on him, their fear and admiration. Yes, dignity and power. Such a wonderful thing.

* * *

><p>The pen formed perfectly formed letters as notes were taken down meticulously. He listened attentively to his ethic's teacher even if some of the other students looked like they were sleeping. Very unprofessional, they were here to learn about their future profession after all. He cast a quick glance around, some slept, some chatted, some looked at the teacher, no one looked at him. No one sat by him either. Good.<p>

He was here to learn, nothing else, he didn't want any attention, none at all. He went back to his notes. The teacher continued to speak, to write things down, if he himself had been anyone else it would have been boring. But he forced himself to remain interested and dutifully take his notes. Only enough of course, he did not want a high grade, only the one that was necessary. Why prove himself more then was necessary? It was a waste of time, he knew his own ability. No need for anyone else to know. It was something that self-absorbed, unsure people did. He was none of those things. Notes filled the pages, made him know what to do. Definitely not.


	2. Chapter 2 Interest

A hand painstakingly arranged the strands of hair to lay perfect around the pale face. It was a small habit of his to do after every class. Not that he really cared if anyone though his hair was out of place, it was none of their business. Even so, the hair was made to perfection before the hallway bathroom was abandoned and he went out in the corridor.

As every break, every day since he had come here, he walked alone. He would never have allowed someone below him to come near him, to be graced with his presence. Head lifted high and a walked with sure easy steps, fully certain that everyone else would move out of the way. They did.

Even so irritation grew inside. Why? He had what he wanted after all, no that was not true. But what he wanted, who he wanted, was not here, could not be found here. And he would never disgrace himself by going for something underneath his dignity. He would not settle for something he didn't really want. Settle for someone he didn't really want.

Dark clad young boys and girls avoided his eyes and hurried past. Fine. He liked their fear; it was a wonderful power in its own way. He resisted from giggling again and wandered outside. The wind ruffled his hair a bit. After all the careful attention to it, it irritated him a bit more. Frown adoring the expressive face as the feet took him to the shelter of a tree. Careful not to get the clothes dirty a back was leaned against the bark as the body lowered itself down. Arms were placed behind a head crowned with red hair. And then green eyes watched, just watched. Not that the trivial lives of the others interested him in the slightest. But he was bored and frustrated. Why was he so frustrated?

A small feeling deep down. A small feeling of loneliness. He huffed and ignored it. Well none of them were worthy enough, none of them could match him. Rather be lonely then associated with people he could not respect. Still….no this was ridiculous. He glanced down on his legs for a while.

A small feminine giggle made the eyes look up again. A young girl and a boy. Standing very close and whispering. Now this was a bit interesting at least. Eyes watched as they continued to smile at each other and then as the boy nervously touched her arm. She seemed to like it, a frown, she must be easy. He would never give himself up so fast. He would never give his heart away just because someone whispered sweet words and caressed him. Not that anyone did. But he would never do that. Frustration.

Even so the impulsive mind wondered how it would feel, complete adoration, complete devotion, complete love. Yes he could see the appeal of that. Someone to adore only him. To devote themselves to him and love him unconditionally. How wonderful.

The blushing couple had left when eyes looked up again. Arms fell into a lap and eyes pretended to continue looking at something far ahead. Time for another class soon, for the fear in his classmates' eyes and their soft whispers as he passed. It could have to be enough for now. No time for love or any such thing, not now. Not until he could find someone worthy of it. He was sure he would find someone. He had to find someone. Frustration.

Eyes glanced around again, no one looked at him, no one dared. Fine. Go to hell all of you, I don't need any of you. Just leave and die. Don't bother me with your boring talk and silly lives. I don't care for any of you.

With a small growl of frustration the lean body shifted and stood up once more and made its way back before the next class started. Frustration and irritation grew with each step. Made teeth clench and the frown deepen. The corridor inside was almost empty; only one other person was standing next to one of the windows. He walked passed without looking at the boy. Why could no one here challenge him?

* * *

><p>A hand held papers with notes under one arm as he walked along the corridors. The back was straight and he walked with a quiet confidence, still he made way for those that didn't acknowledge his existence. Only out of necessity of course. He did not wish to have them collide into him.<p>

With a small sigh he sat down next to one of the windows overlooking the garden outside. Most of the students went out there during their breaks to get fresh air. He did not, the wind there used to force the papers out of order. No, better to stay inside so he could focus.

Even so his eyes soon drifted outside the window. Many students his own age, talking, joking, socializing. A waste of precious time. Not far away a boy was courting a girl; he had never understood the appeal of that. Eyes wandered further in disinterest. Fell on a young man sitting under a tree. A young man with bright red hair. Staring at the couple with an unreadable expression.

He blinked, he had been staring as well, how improper. Then again he found that he did most of the time he saw the redhead. Why? True enough he was very different, not just the unusual hair color but his behavior as well. The wind made the hair flow a little, brushing the pale skin. He leaned forward slightly to see the eyes better, then he realized he had stood up.

This was ridiculous. He glanced down, wondering where this strange behavior came from. As he glanced up the redhead was gone. A small narrowing of the eyes, was he disappointed? No of course not. A flash of red in the corner of his eyes and he turned to see the young man walk passed him. He looked very irritated, as he almost always did. He was not spared a glance as the other walked by. The footsteps against the marble floor grew fainter as the other left. He had never wanted any attention. Never wanted to stand out. Then why did he feel like he wanted it a few moments ago?


	3. Chapter 3 Study

_A/N - Thank you everyone for the reviews!  
><em>

* * *

><p>Books were spread around the small table. All of them finished some time ago, despite that he found them rather uninspired and less than thrilling he could read and understand everything rapidly. It was required to know all these things to get good grades after all. And he wanted good grades. To prove himself, show everyone how truly wonderful and clever he was. Show them how unapproachable he was to them.<p>

All of them knew this already; he liked this fact very much. It gave him power. Yes, he liked it very much. Mind soon bored again, with the bleak surrounding of the library, the bleak people inside it. Hands picked up another book, not one for studying, one for just the pleasure of reading. Pleasure.

Shakespeare had such a way to formulate words; to make life seems so interesting, so unreachable, so tragic, so romantic. Romantic? He flicked the page a little too forcefully. If he ever would get someone he wanted it to be like in these plays of drama. So truly astonishing and thrilling. To be swept of his feet and held above everything else as The One. A small smile crept onto his face, o how wonderful something like that would be.

Still, he would not find it here. No one could have that place in his heart among the dull people all around. Such a pity really, he was rather interested in what it would be like. Love. He wanted to know what it felt like, truly felt like. Some said it was like feeling complete, or in a constant state of bliss, or it was like soaring. Yes, he was very interested.

He glanced up at the girls around the shelves and tables. In his mind he knew that young men, that men, liked girls, liked women. Yet…he did not in the same way. Mind let the thought died quickly as always, as always he let it do. But not before his mind thought that the dark haired young man a few tables away was quite handsome. The thought was torn and tossed away. Don't be ludicrous. No way near enough for him.

Then again, he could always find out what other parts of love were like. Love could be shown through just the body. And that he was also very interested in. Very interested. Maybe something like that could ease his boredom? A body, his to take, to make him forget the dullness for just a moment. It was an option that should be contemplated.

He turned another page, read on about the lives of fictional men and women and their struggles. Truly wonderful. To read was also a way to distract himself from his own life. Deep down gratitude for it. His room was littered with book of literature and plays. All of them read at least once. He was easily bored.

Another page turned and a realization that the book was finished. A small sigh as he closed it, then one again as he started to gather up all the other ones to return to his room. Eyes followed him out of the library, eyes and a heavy silence. All of them such idiots.

As a hand lifted to open the door he flicked his hair and swayed his hips a bit. Just for the fun of it, a giggled as he closed the door behind him. If they wanted to talk let them, rumors were already a part of his life. It gave him a small sense of contentment. They talked about him, they noticed him, they thought about him. They should, still it was nice to know they did.

He walked to his room in silence, the corridors empty, room empty as he opened it. Books were put down in a pile on a table and his body lay down on the bed. His green eyes shone as he stared up at the celling. Empty.

* * *

><p>Papers and books put in neat order on the table he was occupying. He wanted to know precisely where they were so he could find them when he wanted a specific one. As he always did he glanced at the paper where the requirements for each course were written. He had to do just enough to get a B. Not stray from it in in the slightest. An average score of B's was what was required for his future profession. So of course he would get just that.<p>

It had been harder than he had originally thought to keep, but he had made his decision and he would see it through. As it did more times than he could count his mind wandered. What position would he be assigned when he had graduated? He had a natural ability for written texts and books, yet deep down he also enjoyed the practical aspects of the career. Perhaps they could be combined in some way? Yes he was sure it could be arranged. And if not, he would work to a position where he could decide that himself.

Tired eyes lifted from the papers and books for a small second and caught a fleeting moment of green eyes looking at him. Green eyes beneath red hair. Why was his heart beating a bit faster? The moment was soon over and the other started to read again. He did the same.

As the redhead left he forced himself not to look up, not to look as he flicked his hair and swayed his hips, forced himself not to be distracted. A paper turned and eyes read on. He could not be distracted.


	4. Chapter 4 Enhance

Legs crossed over each other as arms rested behind the head. Eyes looked down out of the window and watched the students below. He liked to sit by the window, the things outside of it always changed, brought some form of relief to his boredom. He particularly watched the girls. It was not that he found them...desirable. Well, his body did, but not his mind. Not as much as he felt desire for men.

He continued to look at their curves and slender waists. It really was very appealing. He could swear that he would have pulled if off much better though. Still...eyes shifted to some of the boys. Truly some of them were handsome. A small grin on the face. They would beg for a chance to touch him. But he would not allow it. Not without his permission, no one could touch him without his permission.

The frustration again as eyes went back to the girls. Why? He was sure that some of them would be happy to oblige him as well if he wanted it. Well they better; they could not get anything better. None of them.

Eyes shifted to his own body, swept over his chest, stomach, hips and legs. It did look different from the girls, not as...curvy. Yet it was more lean and slender then the boys. It truly was beautiful.

His eyes went back outside, over faces, so many faces. They did have very beautiful lashes; it really framed the eyes so perfectly. A snarl, very low. How dare they be more beautiful than him?

Quick steps and a reflection in the small bathroom mirror. He could not allow anyone to be more beautiful than he was. A quick examination, the skin was flawless; eyes had a beautiful color, hair shone. Yet the lashes, they were not as full or black as theirs. He made up his mind and took out a paintbrush, not used for the purpose but he did not care. Some paint as well, black paint. Very carefully and with concentration he made his lashes appear more than they were. Well, that was not true, all was already there, he was just enhancing it.

Even with all his care he managed to poke himself in the eye twice. Curses filled the room when it happened but the hand continued on. He had made up his mind and he would see it through. He always did. Always.

After some agonizing minutes his eyes were slightly red and a hand had to sweep away some tears, but it was finished. He regarded the result for quite some time. It look very good, it made him feel better. When he saw the black painted lashes around his eyes some of his frustration ebbed away. How odd.

Eyes still hurt a bit after his carelessness. Not that he minded. Pain, the right kind of pain, was something he enjoyed. Not that anyone else knew this fact; he would not let anyone know it. Pain of the right kind could give him pleasure and he would lose himself in it. Always been done by himself, in privacy. He wondered how it would feel to have someone else do those things to him. If he did allow it and wanted it he was certain it would be wonderful. Very pleasurable. The frustration came back.

Slowly the eyes stopped to hurt and he sighed. O well, nothing could last forever. And the eyes were not something he got very much enjoyment from having hurt anyway. Another sigh and glasses were put on the face. With them on and the lashes his eyes stood out like green pools. He almost wanted to laugh. Now he was more beautiful than any of them again. More beautiful. O how jealous they would be.

Yet he knew they could not be as jealous of him as he was of them. The frustration nagged at the back of his head. Why was he so jealous?

* * *

><p>A lonely figure sat at a desk in the library once more. As he always did during most breaks that was longer than an hour. All the others walked around and seemed to have a good time, enjoying each other's company. It was not something he needed. All that was needed was to study and make sure his grades would be enough to get him the work he wanted. That was all he needed.<p>

True to his word he kept getting the B's he aimed for. It pleased him, yet seemed to disappoint the teachers and instructors. He sometimes wondered why then put it out of his mind.

They would point out that Sutcliff had average A's due to his excellence in the practical lessons. And that he himself could get that as well if he put a bit more effort into one subject. He did not see the point. Average B's was all that was necessary so that was what he would strive for.

The grades of the redhead did not bother him, but he found it odd that a person that seemed so easily bored and that never appeared to study would get the grades Sutcliff did. Then again it was only in practical training he got A's. It did not matter. He knew he was as good, if not better than the redhead. Not that he cared. He tried to focus on his studying once more. He had to keep his grades.


	5. Chapter 5 Thoughts

As expected people had been looking at him a bit more today. Truly envied the black painted lashes and adored his appearance. He felt very good about himself and hummed a bit as his feet took him back to his room.

The frustration lingered at the back of his head, it irritated him more then he would like to admit. Mind knew the frustration came from the fact that he could not find anyone to challenge him, that he could not find love. But there was nothing to be done about that for the moment. Eyes went to the mirror, a small mirror that hung next to the bed.

He would make all the girls seem like pigs and elephants if he could show everyone how graceful and ladylike he could be, how graceful and ladylike he was. Eyes closed, yes; he did like to dress as a woman. It could not be done here at the Academy, the uniform was a rule. Still he wore his red socks. Nothing they could do about that. But when he could wear a dress or heels, it made him feel like everything was right. Right? Yes something was wrong with him. With his body, it was not like it was supposed to be. Thoughts that his mind tried to push away as he always did when they came. But as he looked up at his reflection adored with the lashes he could not hold them back anymore.

Deep down he had always wanted to be a woman. No that was not true. He was a woman. But this body was wrong, it was a male body. Tears threatened to fall from green eyes. It was not fair. He would have been such a beautiful woman. Truly to die for. But he was stuck in this body, this male body, and it made everyone else see him as a man. Yet he was not. Not in his mind.

Body lay back on the bed and tried to calm down. Nothing for it, he had this body and it could not be changed. He could never have the curves he so longed for or the ability to bear a child. Never. The tears fell from misty eyes and down the sides of the pale face. He just wanted to be happy, was that wrong? He would do anything, truly anything if he could be what he was inside. Make everyone else understand what and who he truly was. Make someone love him, maybe The One would be easier to find if he had been a woman. No, still the same persons around him. No, that would not have changed. But his self-esteem would have changed.

He slowly let his hands trace his body and eyes closed. It would be so wonderful to have someone else do this to him, to have someone else touch him. The suit jacket and vest was removed. He really wanted to know what it felt like, but he had to choose with whom. Right now however he was alone. But he wanted to know. He needed a distraction from these thoughts. Alone.

Hands trailed lower and undid the pants. No harm in trying himself, after all who was a better judge to what he liked? With his eyes still closed he felt his breathing start to grow heavier. Was he nervous? Well he shouldn't be, only one, only him, here after all, all alone. Thoughts wandered as he tried to imagine someone else there with him. He had always liked dark hair and pale skin. And of course green eyes, as all of them had.

With this in mind he let the hand slid down his trousers and undergarments to free himself. Still he refused to open his eyes, imagine that someone else did this to him and that he was a woman. A small groan escaped his lips as he gripped himself. It felt...like nothing else, not even the pain he liked so much. He needed more. With a sense of urgency the hand slid up and down and at the sensation a mouth opened to let out a long moan. It felt...so good. And finally, finally his mind was completely blank, no frustration, no boredom. Just...pleasure. A hand continued to stroke and he felt something inside tighten. Back arched slightly and moans reached keen ears as his body gave in and his hand was covered with his own seed. It was over too fast and he lay there panting as his mind was once again filled with frustration. Eyes closed again. Just endless frustration.

* * *

><p>The book lay forgotten on his small desk. He was seated by the window and looked out, his eyes were a bit tired after all and a break had been in order. That he had lost track of time after a while was forgotten as well.<p>

His mind wandered and came to consider a certain redhead. Again. He shook his head in irritation. He did not want to think about that bullying, condescending young man. Yet he did. It was a bit confusing; it must be because he annoyed him that he thought of him. Yes, it had to be. Eyes shifted over to the desk, he should be studying. He should but he couldn't concentrate. Not yet anyway.

That red hair really was very lovely. It looked very nice against his pale skin and those green...he lifted his head with a jerk. No he refused to have thoughts like that. Sutcliff was a man after all. Not that he cared. Woman or man, as long as the person was worthwhile he could almost understand the notion of romance. Almost. But it was nothing for him, far too busy and not really good with people at all. No he would leave matters like this to others. The redhead did not even look at him after all. He frowned; he had to stop thinking about him. He did not really care if he looked at him after all. Not at all.

And also, Sutcliff had a reputation for getting what he wanted, always, even if he had to use violence. What kind of person would be so egoistic to force their will on someone else? He could never...that hair was very lovely.


	6. Chapter 6 Dismissal

A hand held a weary face up as eyes stared straight ahead as the teacher spoke on and on. He did not really care for ethics at all; he had his own and would stick to it. It really was a struggle to hold back the groans of frustration and boredom as the lesson dragged on. In desperation a pen started to scribble in his notebook. The picture turned out to become a beautiful ballroom gown. Of course it would be red, with a striped ribbon in the front and white lace along the seams. White trimming at the sleeves and hem as well. O it was so lovely, he would kill to own and wear it. And to dance, to dance with his...

His thought was interrupted as the teacher dismissed them. The seat abandoned with a small jump before he made his way towards the door. Outside he stopped for a moment to arrange the books and papers, the eagerness to leave the dull classroom had made him forgot to do it properly inside. As he struggled somewhat to fit his doddle filled papers into the thin book of ethics he overheard some others students talking.

Mind wander as their mindless chattered washed over him. One of them pointed to a person walking along the corridor. As he had nothing better to do head and eyes lifted to see a young man with dark hair and pale skin. He held a book tight under his arm, like it gave him some kind of reassurance.

A red eyebrow was raised a fraction. He was rather handsome, yes; he had seen him in the library. Rather handsome indeed. Words found their way to his ears. He had all B's, not near good enough, and he had no friends and did not really talk with anyone. Well nothing wrong with that. Still not good enough. He dismissed the tall young man as he walked by him. Not good enough.

As the papers were arranged to his liking he started to walk and found himself in the library. Well it was dull but it was this or his room. And the thoughts were always worse in his room. Eyes glanced around and found a table some distance away from the ones that were occupied. He made his way over and sat down. In irritation the book of ethics was almost thrown aside, hands opened one of the Shakespeare plays instead. It was rather gory and bloody. He liked it very much.

After a short time the mind was bored again. Forcefully he closed the book, causing some of the other occupants to raise their heads at the sound. He did not care in the slightest. He stood up and walked along some of the shelves. Books of all subjects need for a Shinigami. Death scythes. Souls. Administration. Judging. Feet wandered on, eyes looking for something more interesting, something he had not read before. Eyes went to a small section. Anatomy. With a small glint of interest in his eyes he reached out a hand and pulled out one of them.

As he sat down at his table again a small glance was cast around, no one was watching him, for once he found it to be a good thing. Fingers hesitantly opened the book and turned a few pages. O my, this was very interesting. He had always wondered how the insides of things looked. Rather messy but at the same time, almost cleverly thought out.

A small part of him wanted to cut something, to find out if the pictures were correct. The boredom and frustration faded a bit. The heart and lungs took up most of the chest, yet the stomach was filled with numerous things. Intestines, spleen, pancreas, kindness, liver. Blood-vessels filled the body. They were beautiful, followed every organ and looked like an intricate pattern of red. Like spider webs at some places and thick and sturdy at others.

He glances over at some of the students and tried to figure out where the organs would be in their bodies. It was not very hard; after all it existed only so many places they could be in. So very interesting. As the excited body stood up he put the book next to his other two and took it with him. It was the most interesting thing he had read in such a long time, he would not let it go now. It would be learned and used. He was sure he would have some use for it in the future. A sharp smile.

* * *

><p>A hand held the book tightly as he went down the corridors. Unconsciously his eyes searched for a flash of red. He was disappointed in himself for doing it, yet he did. The redhead meant nothing to him; he just wanted to make sure he knew where he was so he could avoid him. Yes that was it. He needed to study and wanted to rid himself of any distractions.<p>

He saw some people point at him, he did not understand why; he was nothing out of the ordinary. Next to them stood a distracted man that was fiddling with his books and papers. He had red hair. As he walked closer he tried to meet his eyes. The other looked up at him for a moment and regarded him then looked away absentmindedly again.

Why was his chest feeling so tight? Was it because he looked away? This was absurd. He did not care. All he cared about was to maintain his grades and get a good employment after his graduation.

He pasted people talking, smiling, laughing together. Why did they do this? It was not necessary for graduation. If anything it was a distraction from the result that was the point of their presence here. No all he needed was to graduate and nothing else.


	7. Chapter 7 Test

A sneer graced the annoyed face as a hand swung his scythe. Practical training really was the only good lesson they had. If only the competition could be better. Their instructor put him up against everyone in his class to find someone to give him a challenge. No one did. He defeated them one after another. It made him feel rather good about himself.

To ease the frustration at the situation he let his mind wander, it did not matter, they could not harm him anyway. And if they did he would kill them. As he moved his feet he imagined he was dancing. It truly was a dance of death. One of them would die in this encounter. He couldn't help but smile, so thrilling, so exciting.

As the pleasant thought filled his mind feet started to move differently, follow the movements he knew was needed for certain dances. His opponent looked at him with a worried look and tried to match him. They could not even dance, uncultivated morons. Red hair flowed around his face as he twirled and moved around. O how good it would look if he had a dress on right now. A red dress, to match his red hair. Red like blood. Blood.

A giggled and the hand swung his scythe fast against the others chest, cutting him. It was greeted with a scream and wide eyes. The instructor was quickly by the wounded boy's side and looked up with a hint of anger. O no matter, I am better than all of you. His eyes gingerly followed the small trail of blood that appeared against the white shirt. No need to worry, it was a shallow cut and the ribs would protect anything to important. Then again, he might have broken one or two of them. How clumsy. Still, he had hit at the right side, so the heart was not in any danger. A shame really.

The boy was helped to the infirmary and a dismissal to report to the principal. In anger and annoyance he went, his head still filled with pictures of blood. Blood against a white shirt, red against white. It had been beautiful.

Outside the principal's office a small moment to compose himself, a few deep breaths taken, a smile placed on his face. Act, just act along now and everything will be fine. He knocked softly and was let in by a secretary rather quickly. Almost too quickly.

As he entered the office eyes saw a small bird on the window rail and then they trailed over to the tall, brooding man behind the desk.

"Please remain where you are Sutcliff. I have come to understand you have injured another student during you practical lesson today. This is of course unacceptable. The purpose of the exercises is to improve your skill with the scythes not harm each other." All this was said with a monotone voice and eyes that peered behind glasses.

He poised himself and tried to sound apologetic. "I did not mean to harm him"…too much..."and I only wanted to help him improve his skills as you put it." He has no skills so he might as well die. He kept his emotions in check but still glared at the principal. How dare he talk to me this way? To me?

"Whatever you reason the outcome was unfortunate. You will have to help the librarian arrange the book in the library this evening. No objections Sutcliff." A dismissed, a hand gesture, for him to leave.

Anger fumed behind green eyes as he left but held everything in until a soft breeze was felt, finally, out in the grounds. Punishment? Had the old man gone insane? A low growl in his throat. The other boy was the one to be punished, for his inability to defend himself. What kind of Shinigami would he become? A disgrace to their profession.

He kicked down a small statue from its pedestal as he passed it. It crashed on the ground, the sound made some of his anger leave him. Such fools. All of them.

* * *

><p>Mind focused on the paper in front of him. The clock ticked the minutes away and he answered the questions one after one. It was a written test and he was very good at writing. Always had been good with papers and books. He could of course write more at some of the questions, elaborate more and make a point more clear. Yet he did not. It was not necessary to get what he wanted.<p>

Question after question after question. It was very relaxing, he was not distracted at all. Very relaxing. As he finished he did not look over his answers, knowing they were all correct, needed no corrections.

As he left the classroom he felt slightly unsure. The test was over and he had no more classes scheduled. He had nothing to occupy himself with. His feet took him outside, why? Well no matter, he had no papers that could be disturbed if the wind blew too much. He wandered around among the trees for a while; it was rather relaxing, this exercise as well.

He heard something break and looked around. A statue lay broken on the ground some distance away from him. He wondered vaguely who had destroyed it. It seemed such a pointless thing to do. Such a waste, pointless.


	8. Chapter 8 Borrowing

_A/N - I want to thank everyone for the reviews_

* * *

><p>A hand went up to grip the red hair lightly. This was so boring, sitting here, in this dusty old library studying. So it wasn't dusty, but he felt it needed to be to match his mood. Stupid things, never like he wanted them. The grip lessen and the hand was put down once more. The hair could not be damaged, it would not do.<p>

He had finished the schoolbooks long ago, like usual. And now eyes trailed over words written in manuscripts and plays, as usual. Always the same, he needed a change. A hand took out the anatomy book once again and flipped the pages. All of it was already remembered, treasure in his mind. But he liked the pictures. Were there books on other creatures as well? It would be easier to see if the pictures match on say, a bird. A grin spread on his face.

Wonder if anyone would notice if he fell asleep here? He looked around, not many people around at all. A few tablets away were that dark haired B student. Name forgotten, not that he cared, he was not important. But my, he did study hard, just to get B's? He must be an idiot or something. He grinned a bit wider. Useless, all of them.

His eyes drifted back to his books and papers. In slight boredom he took up the reading list of his classes, read it, read it, read it, rea….wait…..I don't even have that book. Irritation built inside as the body stood up and went to search for the offending missing book. After checking three times he realized there was none left. A low snarl and a short walk, an annoyed question to the librarian. The response was a negative one, it had been borrowed and there was no other. O great.

If his hair could stand up like on the back of an angry cat it would have as he quickly made his way back to his table to pick up his things and leave. This was just wonderful, not that he really cared, but he needed to keep B's in writing to keep the average A's. That was very important. Eyes fell on the table a few paces away as he turned to leave. On it lay the book he needed, green eyes narrowed, maybe he could take it if the owner left? Well, that dark haired moron never left when he studied. Never. There was only one other choice. He sighed in annoyance and slammed his books down on the occupied man's table. No not man, boy. He huffed.

"Do you need that one?" asked condescendingly as he pointed to the book he wanted. "It's not like you will have any use for it anyway." Stupid B student for taking all the books, he should kick him.

"I beg to differ, if I had no use for it I would not have gone to the trouble of finding it in the first place." The dark haired youth looked up at him, still holding a pen in his hand. "If you need it you should have tried to find it sooner."

A huge urge to kick him, to grab him by his throat and throw him into a wall. Too many people around, the arranging of books in the library had not been fun after all. "Well, you are not using it now, if ever" How dare you talk to me like this? You useless, worthless piece of…"I will be finished with it faster than you, that I can guarantee." With that the book was taken from the other and put under a thin arm. Did he just glare at me? Idiot.

"Very well, you can borrow it for three days. Then I want it back." He stood up and put the pen down. "My name is William T. Spears. May I ask you for yours?"

Was he serious? "You don't know who I am? You must be joking." He grinned, everyone knew his name, everyone.

"I am afraid I have not been introduced to you before, and as you so…impatiently want to borrow one of my possessions it is only natural to do so." He continued to wait for him to answer.

A small annoyed huff, eyes looking away in boredom. "I am Grell Sutcliff, now be a good boy and remember it." With that he turned away and walked out of the library, not bestowing the other a glance. Three days? He could finish it in two, he would show him, that stupid…he had forgotten his name, something with S? O he was not important anyway. None of them were.

* * *

><p>He glances over at the redhead; he was reading those plays of his again. It did not make any sense, how could he maintain his good grades without studying? Unlike himself, he had to spend most of his free time studying to make sure he stayed at the level he had set out for himself. It was a bit irritating, not that he was jealous. No of course not, it was just…it did not make sense.<p>

His thought was interrupted as someone slammed a few books down on his table. What kind of person would do something as obnoxious as that, he lifted his eyes, of course.

At first he did not want to agree to the redhead's request, it was his book after all, and he did need it, not at the moment, but one never knew. And his tone of voice annoyed him, so superior and ill-mannered. Before he could say anything the redhead simply took the book from him and reassured him he would finish it faster than he himself anyway. Well he knew he could, but it was irritating to find it so. He could not help but glare at him as he composed himself.

Even if the other had decided to be impolite he introduced himself, just to be polite of course. Not because this was the first time the redhead had spoken to him, not at all. Just to be polite, not because he wanted him to know his name. He knew who the redhead was of course, but insisted to hear it from his own mouth. Sutcliff. It suited him.

As he walked away he could not help but feel a bit used. He only spoke to me to get the book, otherwise he never would have. A small part of him was glad, another hated it. Why? It was not like he cared for Sutcliff. Not at all.


	9. Chapter 9 Irritation

The book lay thrown against the wall; finished in two days, like he had decided he would do. And now bored, yet again. He would of course not return the book, why should he? If the idiot wanted it back he could come and get it himself. Green eyes stared at the celling as his mind tried to find something to amuse himself with. When it couldn't his mind started to wander. Even though he did not want it to.

As much as he acted like he didn't care, his grades were important to him. Not the ethic one of course, but he wanted an average A. It would show everyone just how wonderful, brilliant and lovely he was. Because deep down, insecurity lingered. There was nothing lacking with his confidence or the way he viewed himself, he loved himself. But his self-esteem was affected, affected by the fact that he had the wrong body, no one to hold and that no one could meet his standards.

O how he wanted to know what it felt like, to be with someone that had everything he wanted. True he could pleasure himself, but it felt a bit empty, surely it would feel so much better if someone else did it. And it was such a wonderful distraction, it kept the mind from thinking about these things, things he would rather forget.

Mind drifted on, saw pictures of blood and beautiful red patterns, breath came a little faster. So beautiful and perfect. Everything should be painted red, to make it beautiful. He let his hand trail his chest, felt his heartbeat. Hands took of the vest and opened the shirt so that nail could dig into the skin. It started to bleed almost instantly. Such a beautiful color and the pain was so…he let his head fall back on the pillow. As nails continued to mark his chest a flash of a young dark haired man appeared before his eyes. He frowned a bit and focused on the pain again, feeling his body starting to respond to it.

Yet the flash returned, o how annoying, stupid idiot for disturbing his thought when he...wait...why was he thinking about him at all? Maybe…he was rather handsome…and it would be interesting to find out how it would be to have someone with him. Perhaps handsome would have to do, for now. He would not give him his heart; just use his body after all. He smirked, yes that could work.

As the mind was made up he scratched the nails along down to the flat stomach, greeted with a hiss of delight. He would never let anyone else touch him this way, to bring him pain if he did not want it, not even sure he would enjoy if someone else hurt him. No, caresses and gentle touches would be enough. But not right now.

He let his other hand slide down the trousers and grip himself, this really was disgusting, he did it too often, but the desperation to get some form of relief from the thoughts were too great. As the hand started to stroke up and down, as nails clawed at the body, mind felt bliss and went blank, as it always did. Finally.

As the movements continued he started to feel a bit frustrated, this was not enough, he could not find release. Body shifted to lay on the side, a groan in annoyance, hand moving faster. He had to find it, had to get it. Nails clawed at once flawless skin and tears formed in green eyes as time dragged on. What was wrong why wouldn't he….and then it was over. Hand and stomach were covered with his seed but the feeling was not as intense as it used to be. Not as intense. Something missing.

Panting slightly the rolled over on the back again, eyes closed. He needed something more, someone. Teeth bit into a cheek in exasperation. He stood up and went over to the bathroom to clean himself up and his gaze went over his room. A book against a wall. Yes he was rather handsome, he would have to do.

* * *

><p>He lay on his bed and read one of the books required for the upcoming classes. Even so his mind went to the one he had allowed the redhead to borrow, allowed Sutcliff to borrow. He still did not really know why he had given it to him. More than likely he would not get it back for some time; he had no intention of going and demanding it back. He did know where Sutcliff had his room but that was out of necessity, if he had to get the book. Only because of that. But he would not. Not at all.<p>

Body shifted a bit and he saw the redhead in his mind. Such lovely red hair and pale flawless skin, bright green eyes…His eye drifted close and the book hit the sheets…if he did smile it was beautiful, his movements so graceful, his hips swung so….

Eyes snapped open as he felt his body reacted to his thoughts. He groaned and put his hands over his eyes. This was absurd. He should not have this happen to him, the redhead did not care for him at all. Even if he…no he felt nothing for that condescending boy. A hand was placed on his chest to make his breathing go back to normal. He had to focus, focus on something else. His notes, yes, his notes. They appeared in is head and he went over them with all the concentration he could bring to it. Even so notes were replaced by red flowing hair and a sharp bright smile.

He lay still for a long time, gave up and let his mind wander, let his fingers wander, just this once. It would go away, all of it would go away.


	10. Chapter 10 Invitation

A pen scratches along the paper, filling in question with answers not really cared for. He only wrote as much he felt was necessary, ethics, really, who cared about such a boring subject? He huffed under his breath and stretched his aching back. O this was so boring, almost too much, he couldn't take it anymore.

Even so the rest of the paper was quickly filled in, glanced over once. Just to be sure he had at least answered everything. He might have forgotten a question or twenty in his bored daze. It looked fine, good. Picked up, handed in, a walk out of the stuffy classroom.

His feet wandered aimlessly along the corridors as the irritation and frustration boiled in him. Nagging at the back of his head. After what had happened the other day he was almost desperate to find some form of distraction. Green eyes scanned his surroundings. Well, one or two were quite handsome, one even had dark hair. Not the one that he had borrowed the book from, but he did not care.

With as much grace as he could muster he went up to the young man. How to go about this? Well he could be very direct but that was not very ladylike. Or he could just flirt a bit and see if the dimwit got the meaning, after all he did not want to settle for someone to idiotic, even if he was desperate. Swaying his hips he let a grin adore his beautiful face.

"O well hello there~" he said as he went closer to the young man. He was met with eyes filled with fear and questions. "Isn't it so very boring here?" he winked a bit.

"Well...eh...no...not really" the other backed away. What? How dare he? Reject me? I will kill him!

"No? But I think it is, want to have some fun~?" he grinned and touched his hip. This was a little fun, if only the other one could play along a bit.

"Eh...o...well you see...I am quite busy...and...I have to go..." he backed away and almost ran along the corridor. The grinned turned to a look of disgust. Inside the chest though something tighten. He was beautiful wasn't he? Young boys, not worth his time, he had known it but still tried. He wanted to rip his hair out in frustration. Once again eyes looked around and his eyes fell on...the one that had borrowed him the book. O, maybe he was not as stupid as that other one. A small hope but never the less.

He strolled over; he didn't really want to flirt with this one, not right now anyway, a small plan formed in his mind as he drew closer. This was going to be fun, and it was going to work. It had to.

The dark haired boy looked up as he walked up to him. "I got that book of yours. If you want it back I suggest you come and get it yourself. I have no time to go around bringing back things that are not mine." A paused for a moment to see the others reaction. Nothing. With a small huff he continued "You can have it tonight, you can come to my room and get it. I have some time when I am not busy." An eyebrow was raised "If that is not too much for you?" he grinned and almost wanted to laugh.

"No, it is not an inconvenience. I will retrieve the item as soon as I am done with my studying." The dark haired boy nodded politely and waited for him to say something else.

"Well, just come before I fall asleep" said disdainfully, a turn, feet walked away. As he turned the corner and went down the corridor he realized that the dark haired boy hadn't asked him where his room was. A little odd. Then again why shouldn't he know? Everyone knew about him and where he lived was a part of that. Suddenly he felt a little better. O this was going to be fun. With each step his chest tighten, why? He wanted this; still, he had never done this before. O he was just being silly; he would be in control the entire time. Red hair fell in his eyes as he lowered his head. The entire time.

* * *

><p>He closed the door carefully behind him and sat down by his desk. Studying was important and he did not need the book this instant. Sutcliff's behavior had surprised him somewhat. He never talked to him and yet he had even asked him to come to his room to get the book back. In his normal way of course, like he was the only thing in the entire world, but he had talked to him.<p>

It was quite hard to focus on the papers and books before him. Books. Perhaps it was best to get it done, to retrieve the book and then try to sleep, a sleep without the dreams, without red hair and a sharp smile.

As he stood up his stomach felt a bit awkward. Odd, it had never done so before, almost as if he was apprehensive. Ridiculous, he was only going to retrieve the book and nothing more. Even so he made sure his clothes looked flawless and his hair as good as it could in its present state.

The door was closed very gently and his chest moved a bit faster as he walked closer to the redhead's door. He lifted a hand and knocked, then swallowed. Ridiculous, only the book, nothing else.


	11. Chapter 11 Decision

A hand held a paintbrush gently, to apply more black to the lashes. They had to look beautiful, he had to look beautiful. Of course he always did...still. When he was finished he brushed his hair and adjusted it until the strands lay just the way he wanted them. The bangs to highlight the eyes and the other hair to look like a red halo. O he truly was magnificent, so pretty. He smiled at his own reflection.

When he was satisfied he stood and went over to the wardrobe. The body was only covered in a white shirt, long enough to brush the middle of the long thighs. His eyes looked at the items in the wardrobe, no dresses unfortunately, such a shame, he would have looked ravishing in one. Not the uniform, it was too dull. His eyes fell on a red coat, adored with gold and black. Well it was pretty but not very seductive, not with the black trousers and white leggings. And the hat would get in the way.

Eyes cast a glance at the small mirror by the bed. Head tilted, if you really thought about it the shirt almost looked like a dress, almost. Not like he had any choice. My, his legs really were very...

A knock at the door interrupted him. To interrupt a lady, how rude.

Suddenly he felt his chest draw a sharp breath, nerves? Now? O this would not do. He had wanted this for a long time, if it had been with someone worthy it would have been even better. Still, he would use the boy for his body and keep his own heart locked away. Yes, to get pleasure, to get a distraction. All he wanted.

And of course he would be in control the entire time, yes, of course he would be. It would be so wonderful to get to know, he could even pretend he was a woman.

Very gently the door was opened; lower body hidden behind it. He bestowed the dark haired boy outside with a smile. "Come in, your book is over by the desk" he said.

"Thank you, I will get it and not disturb you any further." It was said with a small nod and the boy went into his room and headed for his desk, where of course the book was.

His mind worked fast, what was his name? Something like...like an author he liked. His eyes feel on one of his Shakespeare books. William. Yes that was it…William...T...S...Spears.

Slowly and soundlessly the lithe figure walked after the other, a dark clad arm moved to pick up the book. He put his head next to the dark hair and an arm around his shoulders. "Say...William...I would like to get to know you a bit better" he brushed his lips against dark hair and down along the earlobe.

The young man froze at the touch, stood silent and still as he continued to let his hand caress the shoulder and arm. He had very broad shoulders, o how nice. And strong arms, he felt his eyes flutter close.

Since the other made no attempt at moving he pressed himself against the back and wrapped slender arms around him. "Would you not like to know me a bit better to, handsome~?" said playfully, face nuzzling against the neck before him. O he did smell nice, he had made a good choice, he would do.

As the action got no response he let his lips brush against the skin experimentally, after some time he let his tongue flicker out between soft lips to taste the skin. He felt the body pressed against his own shiver a bit. O how delightful. So he could react to this. Very good.

He removed his arms and stood back. Still the other stood with his back against him. Now, this was getting a bit annoying, as much fun as this was he didn't want to do all the work himself. A few steps and the lean body lay down on the bed. Eyes fixed on the other as arms extended behind the back for support as he sat. And as he slowly let one of his long legs lift and the shirt fell down against his hips the dark haired man turned.

"Why don't you come over here and make yourself comfortable, make me comfortable" said with a smile. That was all he wanted, someone to make him experience this. That was all he wanted.

* * *

><p>He had gone there for the book, only for the book. But as slender arms wrapped around him and soft lips brushed his skin he almost forgot about the reason why he was there. Sutcliff had used his name, and said things...thing he had never thought anyone would say to him. It confused him, why was he doing this? After he had not even glanced at him with common curtsey for all the time they had been in the Academy.<p>

As he turned and saw the redhead on the bed he swallowed and tried not to blush. Those legs were very long, very pale. They looked soft; he would like to know if they were.

He closed his eyes, without the distraction of his touch and the sight of him his mind came back to him. A part of it at least. Sutcliff did not like him, he had never liked him. Only used him, to get the book and now...he felt something stir inside. Disappointment? But why? It was not like he felt anything for him, not at all. No he could not. Still, he wanted something more than being treated this way.

As he opened his eyes and they fell on the red vision before him he made a decision. If Sutcliff wanted to play he could play too, and make him regret he had believed he could use him like this. He walked over and sat down next to the redhead. He could play too.


	12. Chapter 12 Permitted

_A/N - Thank everyone for the review once again. Hope you enjoy this chapter~~_

* * *

><p>A hand was gently trailing up his leg. O it felt wonderful, eyes closed and his head fell back a bit. He felt the body next to him shift and lips were placed on his neck, covering it with light kisses. The arms supporting the rest of the body trembled ever so slightly. The neck was moved so the lips had better access, they left a tingling pattern as they trailed higher, against the jawline and then against the lips.<p>

He pushed against the other's chest until the lips abandoned his. "Not so fast, you have to work to earn the lips of a maiden" he said with a teasing voice. It was meant very seriously though, if he would lower himself to kiss this man, he would have to prove he was worthy of it.

"Very well." It was said very...matter of fact. A flash of red, a flash of anger at the tone. Spears should be grateful to be in this situation. Feel honored. The thought was ripped apart as the hand brushed along his leg and under his shirt to settle at his hip, gripping it a little. The other hand caressed his neck and traced the shirt collar. It felt so good. He so wanted to feel more.

The lips were at the neck once more, the hand began to undo the shirt buttons, lips trailing after, setting his skin of fire. He held back a soft moan, he could not let the other know how good this felt. Not yet.

As the last button was undone he slowly lay back and looked at the other through his thick lashes. Hands lifted to run up the arm and with a silent command it touched the tie. The other took it off with a swift motion, good. The suit jacket soon followed but then the movement stopped. He frowned a bit and put a foot against the vest. "You are wearing far too much clothing, don't you agree?" said with a smile.

"No, it is fine like this." What? Did he just disagree with him? Body shifted to sit up a bit, eyes glaring. Just as he was about to tell Spears that it had not been a question he was forced silent as their lips connected. It was rather forceful and he fell back against the bed again. It was rather nice; he would allow it for the time being. A slender body felt the body above press against every outline, hands once again lifted to run through the dark hair, to grip at the neck and shoulders. It was met by an invitation to enter and explore the mouth on his. He eagerly accepted and ran his tongue over places he had never felt before. O this was so wonderful.

He let Spears continue to please him and felt hands trace his body, up his hips, over his chest and arms and stomach. Other hands roam over the strong back and arms, the narrow hips and the broad shoulders, tugging slightly at the offending fabric of the shirt and vest. Long smooth legs rested against the sides of the other man, allowing him to be situated between them.

The intoxicating lips on his pulled back and hands were placed on his waist. Eyes looked up slightly dizzy, a groan of frustration almost leaving soft lips. Why was he stopping? When he finally had begun to understand, to experience this act of love. No not love, not now, just lust. Pure and simple.

The hands tugged at him and he was turned around to lay on his stomach. The hands caressed the slim back instead and traveled down to brush lower. He shivered a bit and felt a mouth on his neck once more.

"O you are such a tease~" said a little breathless. "Why don't you.." cut off by teeth sinking into soft, pale skin. He screamed out loud and the sensation, his body arched as Spears continued to bite him, still it was not enough. He wanted more. So much more.

The hand trailed over the firm backside and caressed it before a finger explored the entrance there, never touch before. He had believed that when this happened he would have been the one doing these things to someone else. Yet, all the emotions he felt made up for it, he could always be in the others position another time. For now he wanted to be distracted. And don't stop, please don't stop.

A sharp breath as the fingers were removed. His head began to turn so he could demand to know just what was going on as the offending fingers were placed against his lips.

"It would be more pleasant for you if you got them wet" said with a voice still calm. He wanted to bite the fingers, there was no way he would do that.

"Do it yourself or don't bother with it at all" almost snarled as hips lifted upwards a bit. O this was so frustrating, he wanted this to continue. Now!

A hand was placed on his hips to hold them down and he felt the finger against his entrance a few moments after. It felt wet. He almost smirked to himself before he buried his face in his pillow as the digit was pushed into him. It felt weird, painful but not unpleasant, even so his body was unused to this feeling.

Small whimpers and louder moans spilled forth as the finger moved in and out, stretching, preparing. It was followed by another and then another. He met them with his hips eager for more. Eager to feel more.

Lips trailed his back, teeth gently nibbling, hand caressing. O he wanted to do it as well. Later, yes, he could always do it later. His body arched as the fingers hit something inside him; he let out a long and content moan. "M...more~" he almost begged, o how degrading. Still…

"Stay perfectly still" it was whispered in one ear, the warm breath tickled the bruising neck as the fingers were pulled out. He shifted his hips in anticipation and buried his face once more in the pillow to avoid any embarrassing pleading.

The shirt was clinging to his back, he could feel it now when the hands had been removed and it had been pulled down again. Spears was taking quite some time; he was starting to get annoyed. Slowly he lifted his head and glanced back. At emptiness.

* * *

><p>He watched the redhead beneath him and fought with himself. His mind and body were battling with one another, on one hand he wanted to do nothing more than what Sutcliff asked him to do. One the other…he had to show him he would not take any kind of treatment. Had to show him he wanted more than…don't be absurd. He wanted nothing more than….not true.<p>

He picked up his jacket and tie and very quietly and headed over to the door, opening it and for a moment almost regretted what was about to do. Then he closed the door carefully and headed off to his own room. He had always prided himself on his composure. Yet more than once he wanted to go back. He wanted to…No he could not.

The door to his room closed behind him and he leaned against it willing his body to calm down. Vivid images behind his eyelids made that very hard. A hand was pressed to them, almost as if he tried to remove them. They had to go away. They had to. Soft skin and red hair, red hair plastered to sweat soaked skin. A body pressing into his. He groaned. They had to go away.


	13. Chapter 13 Fury

A hand threw open the door and tucked the messy shirt into wrinkled pants. As he stalked down the corridor the suit jacket was put on in haste. Someone, somewhere was going to die. Very slowly and very painfully. No one, nowhere was allowed to treat him like this, ever!

Eyes shone with fury, hair out of order, feet walking quickly down the white corridor. It would look so much better when he had painted it red. Eyes traveled along the doors of the student rooms. A realization that he had no idea where Spears lived; he growled and kicked at random doors in anger. Someone had to die.

It had felt so nice, he had been eager to experience the entire messy act but the idiot had left him. Left him unsatisfied, at first in shock. Now only anger, anger and fury. He knew he should not have invited someone like him, but to have someone disrespect him, that was something new. He hated it. His dignity, power gone. Spears was going to pay, with blood.

Deep down something stirred, hurt? Why? It was not like he cared for the other man at all. Still those hands had been very gentle and those lips….no one had touch him like that before, treated him like that before. No one had bothered. So why had he? He let the thought go, he had left and not finished what he started, the small fluttering feeling for the dark haired man was buried in red anger and hate.

A corner was turned and two bodies almost collided. Just another student, get out of the way stupid….it was the same student that had refused to accept his flirting before. Anger made his eyes narrow and he saw red. How dare he reject me? How dare anyone reject me? With a snarl he punched the other in his face. It was met with a muffled scream of surprise, idiot. He griped his neck and pressed him to the wall.

"Now if you don't stay quiet something will go very bad for you" snarled out between sharp teeth, teeth that could rip a throat out. He tightened his grip and whispered in the others ear. "Where does Spears live? The useless B student that is always alone." The question was met with a quick reply. Good.

He eased the boy away from the wall and then changed his mind. Rejected. He slammed the head against the stone wall, again and again. A small smear of blood appeared on the white marble. So very beautiful. He let go and the boy sagged down. Everything looked better red. A shoe tugged at the slumped form, forced it to look up into green eyes that saw red. Can't reject me now can you?

A swift kick to ribs, hearing them crack and another to the throat to stop the sounds from coming out. After all those sounds where a bit distracting, but the fear, the fear in the eyes were wonderful. "You can scream when I let you, not before" he hissed and let his knee sink deep into the boy's stomach.

His mind went to his anatomy book, always this desire to know if the pictures were correct. No time like the present to find out. Painted nails gripped the dark hair and slammed the head back into the wall once more. Exposing a throat, so very careless. "Let's find out if they are correct" he grinned at the others confused expression.

Teeth sunk deep into the throat before him, searching for the thing he knew was there, the internal carotid artery. As the tongue tasted blood the mind knew it had succeeded. He pulled back a bit and tasted the slightly stingy fluid. It was wonderful.

So that had been correct, he trailed his sharp nails along an erratic breathing chest, then how about the others? He giggled agitatedly. How exciting this was, so very thrilling. Everything but the desire to know left his head as he let his nails ripped and slashed. So very thrilling.

* * *

><p>He heard about the incident as he walked to his first class. Someone had attacked another student and almost killed him. Someone had found the attacker drinking the victim's blood. No someone had found them struggling. No there had been a puddle of blood around them. No there had been nothing at all.<p>

Eyes closed in an attempt to block out the words. Only rumors, unpleasant rumors. They were always exaggerated. It must have been Sutcliff; he had attacked students before, but only during practical training, rumors about that as well. The redhead would more than likely be pleased, it only added to his reputation. How could someone be proud over something like this? He wanted to shudder.

A small knowledge inside him, knowing why Sutcliff had lashed out. It was his fault this student was in the infirmary now. My fault. No absurd, Sutcliff was responsible for his own actions. He had deserved it for his belief he could use him. He regretted nothing at all. Not true. Not true at all.


	14. Chapter 14 Consequence

A groan of boredom from a pile on the bed. He had been stuck in his room for days now. Days! It was ridiculous, the meaningless boy had not died, only….been a little….inconvenienced. A giggle among sheets and pillows. It was not even him he had wanted to hurt. No, not at all. Only convenient for that moment.

He rolled over so he lay on his back and removed the pillow from his head. So bored. How dare they treat him like this? Lock him up in his room as "punishment". For what? He could not help if others could not defend themselves, not his responsibility at all. A frustrated tug at the hair and an irritated shifting of hips. So bored.

He would rather kill himself than appear weak or fearful. No dignity, no power in that. None at all. He hated being weak, yet Spears had made him so for just a moment, a moment. He would pay. Eyes closed again, dominance. Only he could have dominance, an empty feeling stirred inside, he refused to acknowledge it. Only he. It was so very wonderful to dominate others; no one was allowed to do that to him. He had to be in control. Spears would pay.

Even if he wanted to have the body of a woman he saw no reason why he had to be meek and coy like the girls. It was rather disgusting, no dignity. Still the boys seemed to like it…responded to it…no, no dignity. A stirring inside, a knowledge that if he found someone worthy he too could be meek and coy, weak and perhaps even let that person dominate him. But only if they were worthy. No one here was. A frustrated growl, almost sounding like a sob. A soft sob among sheets.

Tears fell slowly to dampen the sheets beneath green dull eyes. Why could no on love him? No one be everything he wanted? He wanted someone, someone to hold close and be his. Someone to be his and his alone, only loving him. Thoughts went to his drawing of a dress, a red dress. O how he would look lovely dancing in that, waltzing with his prince. A picture of dark hair and pale skin, clad in a blue jacket, but without a face. He did not exist. A louder sob now and small shaking of the body.

Fingers trailed the sheets next to him, cold and empty. His head and face hidden beneath the sheet covering his body. He wanted warmth, company, someone to challenge him.

Vivid images behind his eyelids, someone coming through the door, sweeping him of his feet and taking him away from here, this boring dull place. He had always wanted a place of his own, a small hope it could be afforded after the graduation. A small house, not to big, not needed, but a red roof, very important. And a dog, to adore him, only him, give him all its love and adoration. Like he deserved. And a companion, a husband to love and adore him. Please him and fill him with a storm of emotions. And he himself would fuss over that man, love him and take care of him. A proper wife. A dispatcher still of course, that was way too much fun to give up. A small giggle and a smile. O how wonderful and magnificent.

Eyes opened to be met with the reality. A dull room, small and cramped. No one there but him. All alone. This was Spears fault; he was stuck here because of Spears. The feeling of contentment was rapidly replaced with anger. Beneath it a small feeling he could not put his finger on, it was drowned out by the anger. The anger and the fury. Spears would pay.

He glanced to the side and saw the book on the table. O my, he had to return it when they let him out of here, of course he had to. Only polite after all, no one could question that. And he would talk with Spears, talk and maybe….make his words a bit clearer with some…persuasion.

A slender body arose from the sheets and a hand ran through the hair. He would show him. He sat down next to the window, looking out at laughing, smiling, happy faces. Show him. He continued to stare outside and didn't notice the tears that once again fell. Not even when they hit his hands and trailed down to moist his bare legs. He would show him.

* * *

><p>He had not seen the redhead for days. The rumors had been true and Sutcliff was being punished for his actions. A thing he could not argue with, it made perfect sense since his conduct had been atrocious. Still…eyes still searches for him. Absurd.<p>

That temperament of his was confusing, why was he always so angry? Always so condescending and irritated? Then he had not been when…ridiculous...he only wanted to seduce him to get what he wanted. Yet he had been almost kind and calm. He had liked it. He would never see that side of him again.

Sutcliff had had long painted nails under his gloves, something he had not suspected. Then again his eyelashes were blacker and fuller of late. Why had he noticed it? There had been a sketch of a dress next to his book on the table. Why? It was almost as if…Sutcliff wanted to have the appearance of a woman. But why? So very confusing. Not that he cared about gender as such, in the end everyone were the same; personality and intelligence were what mattered. Sutcliff was quite intelligence and his personality were interesting…not that he cared. Not at all. Such beautiful red hair.


	15. Chapter 15 Vengeance

A hand held the book as the other almost banged at the door before him. Flashes of red blurred his vision as he waited for the door to open, someone was going to die. He frowned slightly as the door was opened and the man that had occupied his thoughts for all those dull days in his room stood before him. Kill.

"Your belonging is littering my room, you are careless for leaving it there, such a boring book, like you" said sharply as a small body forced its way into the neat room beyond. He heard the door close and he turned around. "I really should punish you for your inability to return your own things; I have better things to do that run around handing things back to useless boys like you." Still no reaction. He opened the book and tore a page out, then another, and another. A small smile on the face as hands finished to rip out pages, a grin as a hand threw the book against the wall. "So very much like you." Was that a hint of anger in the eyes? Good.

"I fail to understand how I have not fulfilled our agreement of three days. As I recall I came to retrieve the book at the given day but it was you that prevented me from doing so." Said with an expressionless face. It was rather interesting really, but he wanted his fear now. Fear and submission.

"How dare you speak of a maiden's consent and request is such a way, you bastard" snarled out between dangerous sharp teeth as sure legs walked closer. Anger almost blinding him now. Kill.

"I think I will teach you a lesson. How to treat a lady and speak in her presence" his hand shoot up and smacked the silent man across his face. Soon followed by another and another. Why was he not doing anything? So sounds, no attempt to defend himself? The frustration boiled up, almost consuming him. A kick to the legs, the body fell to the ground, followed by another and yet another.

"See, I am so very upset at the way you left me, why don't you make it up to me?" said almost sweetly as hands ripped the vest and shirt from the motionless body. Hands roamed over the exposed chest before nails dug into the skin to tear, mark and draw blood. So beautiful, red. He looked up to see the other's eyes. They looked up, without a hint of fear, without a hint of anything. He growled. So disappointing.

Crawling atop of him he bent his head and placed a hand around the neck and let his teeth sink deep into the shoulder. Ripping, shredding, scaring. This moment would be remembered, he would mark him for what he had done. A small gasp, good. The grip around the neck digging into soft skin. Teeth ripping and tasting the sweet blood.

It continued for a long time, biting, clawing, hurting. The neck, chest and stomach smeared with blood from small shallow cuts. Still the man lay still, almost soundless, not the reaction he wanted. No fear in the eyes.

"I could kill you, you know" he said irritated as he pushed down the other's trousers soon followed by his own. As he pressed himself to the body beneath him he felt nothing, his body was not responding to this lifeless boring man. He hissed and lifted the hips, desperate for some form of excitement, some form of release.

His hand took the other's and silently demanded him to stroke, to make him feel, to excite him. Red hair was buried against a bleeding neck as it was granted and a soft moan was heard. As it continued he felt the other's body react as well, he almost smirked. He looked up and saw eyes, expressionless eyes. It was not enough; he gripped the hair and whispered softly "You really should fear me, I could do anything to you, no one would know." He let a grin adore his face to hide the frustration. This was not enough; he felt his desire once again diminish, even with the stroking, it was fading. Kill.

If this stupid guy could just react so he could feel that struggle and fear he wanted. So he could take him and show him which one of them was the dominate one. But he gave him nothing and his body reacted accordingly. He cursed under his breath and hit the face that refused to give him what he desired. He felt himself fill with disgusts, this thing was not worthy of his attention at all, he was unable to provide anything, give him anything.

Giving up he stood up and pulled his trousers back on. "So completely useless, can't even give a lady what she wants, you are disgusting." Before he left he kicked the slowly bleeding form on the floor a bit more. Just to prove his point. So useless.

* * *

><p>He should not have been surprised. In a sense he was not, of course Sutcliff would not forget his conduct. As he entered his room he quickly made up his mind not to provoke him. After what had happened to the other student it was clear the redhead could be very dangerous.<p>

With a sense of detachment he let it happen, let the infuriated man hurt him, bite him, mark him. He did not scream, even though he wanted to, he did not push him away, even though he wanted to. And he did not groan, even though he wanted to. He could not help but react to the wonderful red beauty, his body betrayed him.

Deep down he wanted to know what it would feel like to be with Sutcliff, always pushed away from his mind, but it could not be so now. Not with the man pressed against him, eager for more. Such red hair.

Still he remained as before, motionless, not wanting to send the other into a fury and upset him more. A moment when he thought it would go further, that Sutcliff would actually force him, but it disappeared and was replaced with a few words that hurt and even more kicks to his bruising body. The cuts would heal soon enough, the blood making it seem worse than it was.

As the door shut and he slowly sat up he almost felt disappointed. It would have been quite interesting to know what the redhead was like, interesting. In his mind thoughts raced. A small understanding of the redheaded frustrated man. Perhaps it would be useful someday. Perhaps.


	16. Chapter 16 Plans

_A/N - This is the last chapter, I just want to thank everyone for reading and for the wonderful reviews!  
><em>

* * *

><p>A glance was cast in the direction of the door as a dark haired man walked into the room. He ignored him deliberately as he sat down some distance from him. He very much wanted to have a quiet word with the imbecilic that had paired them up for the final exam. He could be very…persuasive.<p>

Arms were crossed over the chest and the fingers gently tapping in irritation. What was taking so long? Just open the bloody door and give the assignment already. Eyebrows narrowed, he wanted to hit something.

Deep down he was a little nervous about this. This was the final test, the final exam, if he passed he would become a full fledge Shinigami, if not…of course he would pass. He would not allow the useless thing to drag him down, how dare they pair him up with a B student?

He had prepared for his graduation, carefully thought out the beautiful red glasses. So beautiful. To ease the boredom during the evenings leading up to this he had made a chain of crystal beads. With small skulls to be attached to the glasses, when he got them, if he got them. Of course he would get them. He had also made a hip chain of gold with purple stones. It highlighted his graceful movements as he walked. A small grin spread as thoughts went to the shoes and coat that had been bought as well. Red shoes with black lacing and an expensive coat. He would be the most beautiful Shinigami to graduate from this Academy.

Wandering mind continued to ignore the man he had to work together with. Such a disappointment. He could not challenge him, he could not satisfy him, he could not excite him in any way. A small stirring inside his chest, pushed down. Give me someone to challenge my abilities, someone to fight me for dominance, someone to give me pleasure. A sigh escaped his lips as he put his hands behind his head. Useless, all of them.

If the moron so much as tried to speak up or suggest anything he would kill him. Hurt him and show him his proper place, they had genuine death scythes for this exam after all. Yes, fear me, tremble in my presence. Acknowledge my superior intellect and abilities and I might let you live. Disagree and I will kill you.

The thought was interrupted as the door opened. He stood up and went inside, refusing to look at the other, refusing to admit he was there. Get the exam over quickly and he would not have to meet him again. He liked the sound of that, even if…a stirring inside.

* * *

><p>He sat down and looked over discreetly at the fuming redhead in the other seat. After what had happened he was not surprised Sutcliff was still upset. His body had healed but he still had a small scar on his shoulder. For some reason he did not mind it.<p>

In his mind he had thought about Sutcliff, why he had acted the way he did when he had refused to be afraid, refused to fight him. And he had realized that was exactly what Sutcliff wanted. Someone to challenge him, to put him in his place.

When they had been together the redhead had responded to the pain from his bites and then been unable to respond to his meek attitude. So pain and dominance. Very well, he could give him that, to make him fall for him. Was that what he wanted? A plan, to try it and then ignore the redhead afterwards if it worked. If it did not he would not hold back any more, he would fight him and prove he was the better off them. No need to hold back his abilities any more after all, no more grades to balance. No more need to hold back.

As he heard the door open he stood calmly and let Sutcliff go first. Not yet, he would prove to him what he was, but not yet.


End file.
